And then she talked to me in my dreams after almost 7 years.

(4:05 am Pittsburgh PA.)

There is a girl I know for the last 7 years. She is a very good friend of mine and shares a lot with me along the long times we have know each other. Sometimes she stops talking to me, for one reason and the other. It is exactly at these times she starts appearing in my dreams and she doesn't ever ever ever talk to me in my dreams. I vividly remember all such dreams and make a point to observe that she is not talking to me in the dreams. In a few weird dreams I remember her playing the skipping rope, board an auto rickshaw and go away etc but never did she ever talk to me in my dreams. I always make a point to tell her that “For all the last 7 years that she has been so mean that she does not even talk to me in my dreams”. Usually things do get sorted out in real life and she starts talking to me again in real life. But, in my dreams never never never she has spoken to me.

Well today’s dream was different, she replied back to me in my dreams with just a few words. I wish to write this dream sequence here unless I forget. (I usually don't forget dreams).

Stage 1 (Night time - Rain flooded roads of Rasta peth):

(Night time) I am swimming in the dirty waters clogged up on the roads on Rasta Peth (Pune). This is some where just outside the KEM Hospital temple. I am swimming in some wierd stroke almost leaping and having fun like a fish. Next to me is my friend is RV (saurabh jain) who is for some reason swimming the backstroke and is doing is quite relaxingly. He says dude we better get going faster otherwise we won't be able to deliver the money on time. (At this point in time I don't know what money is he talking about).

Stage 2 (The old government types bank-> Printer station):

I am next to a printer in a small room waiting for some print outs. This room looked very similar to the CMU SCS printing station at Wean hall. Two freaking dork come out of no where and start seeing me as I’m a celebrity. I start hiding as if am too very nonchalant about my celebrity status. To get away from them I even hide myself under the desk on which the printer is kept. Now a women comes in and speaks to the 2 idiots saying that their salary is ready. The two idiots then rush for collecting that salary. In the mean while I collect a printout of a salary statement of a lady which says she is to get Rs 30,000. It is then that I realize that I'm at the bank to collect the salary statement of my best friends (I will not name him) mom. His mom is admitted in some hospital and I have to get the money back to the hospital for her urgently.

Stage 3 (Day time - The old government types bank-> Exit):

Well with the printout taken I am all about to leave the bank. Its now when I see this queue of bank employees lined up to collect their salary cheques. And there she was in the line. Upon seeing her I ask my self the following 2 questions in verbatim. "What the hell is she doing working in a bank - Isn't she supposed to be a software developer?", "May be she was too good at math and she decided to join the bank". I am still not sure that its her. I walk up to her and I see a blurred picture of her. The same type of picture you get when you set a high camera exposure and the camera is unsteady while taking the picture. Well she was wearing a dark pink (not maroon) dress which I am sure is not hers. That is because I clearly remember the dress being worn by one of my other friends at her office dance performance.

Its now that I walk up to her and say all the following in ENNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGLISSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH.

Me: Is it you ?

She: (as condescendingly as the prince of Wales -> not even looks at me). Yes its me.

Me: Is it really you ?

She: (even more condescending and arrogant) Yes its me !

Me: (remembering the fact that I have to deliver the money). I have an important task to do, I cannot talk to you know.

Wake up !!!

The I got up from my bed, did my standard system checks to see if i was sleeping on my right/left arm etc. In my bed I thought what a special dream - she did actually reply to me in my dreams. I called her up to tell about the dream.

Call-> tring tring (some latest hindi caller ring tone) and she doesn't pick up the phone. I usually don't bug people after they don't pick up the phone for the first time. But this time it was very important lest I forgot about my dream. So I called her for the second time and is time she picked up.

She: Ha bol.

She: nahi tu messenger par aa.

Me: Maine tere se baat kiya ?

She: All confused ..

Me: Arey baba I talked to you in my dreams.

She: Theek hain yaar go to sleep, don't come on the messenger just to discuss your dream.

Me: (Angry and pissed of). I quite expected the reply from her, coz I know how she is.

So I decided to write a blog about it lest I forget. Writing blogs about what I dream hmmm not a bad idea.

[End 4:45am 14 Jan 2008 ]

Having a girlfriend when you are student !! (Irrelevant caption)

Well.... having a girlfriend while you are a student is a very special feeling :). It’s like when you have NO MONEY even to send a SMS. She gets all angry for you not calling up often or not meeting up that often. It is kind of strange that when we have everything (I used to work and earn once upon a time) it is not better than having nothing but quite something. Well well well and Why I'm writing all about it. Simply because it is a very nice feeling and I’m happy to share, most importantly to see if I can put it in words. I’m sure everybody experiences the same (if not then please get a life).

Well sometimes we have so many friends that happen to be girls (they are also sweet 2 you) that we kind of get all blasé about it. But in the end I really feel that it is not about having what you really want (is that what we want is still debatable). It is the need of having someone that’s more sweet. You know what I mean, right? Its not quite fun when we both know for sure that what has to exists between us - exists. It is the unknown but quite known factor that’s all the fun about. Well you can call me a tharkey for that but do I care? No!!

To get the feeling quite correct lets take an analogy. It is like getting a gift and knowing all about it, but still its nicely gift wrapped and concealed and it has a very nice note on it :). It is not quite like a surprise but its like knowing what is to be expected but the expectation has still not materialized. It would not be that fun if you just got your gift out from the sky and an godly voice said "Son that’s for you have fun". I would say "God .... no wonder you are all alone !".

Well also its a very fine line between happiness and despair. Its happy knowing that yes there is a possibility but that can very well turn into despair if you knew that there is no possibility or even for the fact if you knew that the possibility cannot be concluded either ways. Marriage for the same sense I fell is the upshot of slight despair and a hurry to conclude and say "Bang Wang thank you mam!" I don’t know :) for sure as I’m not married but I’m sure it should have an overtone of compromise. Well lets get practical over here, marriage for one reason would not be a better deal if we simply knew that we both will stick around as usual without getting married. Well how does marriage help in this …. Ahem Ahem food for everyone :D, feed a 10000gazillion fat ass hungry relatives and tax benefits. Your bet but, I quite don’t see the point at times!

Well now I know its quite difficult to put in words. But I still know that the one who reads it in the right sense knows all about it. But yet I cannot conclude what someone feels after reading this post. This will be quite amazing if it happens that the post above leads to a million possible interpretations. Interpretations about your relationships know only to you ! Quite strange that in the reflexive function of a mutual relationship the interpretation of ones involvement in it is still subjective. I think this is where it gets fcuked up. Now that we know where it gets fcucked up, unfortunately there is no remedy for it. This is because - You for one reason mostly liked the other person for his/her subjective interpretation about you. Now you cannot like - “NOT eat your cake .... , also do AWAY with it and still HAVE it” . So sadly one cannot take the subjectivity out. Also taking the subjectivity would give you something like grapes (well aim bad at spellings). Well but you signed up for it and you were not drafted, soldier!

Now … Wasn’t all that I wrote so very obvious.

BTW: I’m sure that I’m not confused :D and I am single and have NO girlfriend/s ~

P.S: “NOT eat your cake and also do AWAY with it and still HAVE it” this should me my master piece confused Zen doggerel.

Computer science is over-rated !

Next time a computer engineer comes to you and says "I am the greatest programmer/scientist" ask him to f**k off. Most of Computer engineers are an epitome of what I would call copy-cat syndrome. 1000 lines of codes generated is no measure for innovation and creativity. Its an copy paste of concepts or even code. Working with existing algorithms and making function call doesn't make you great !!!. Engineers should really ask the following questions.

• "out of the gazillion lines of code generated how many are based on original concepts ?"
• "Concepts invented by you or even concepts understood in depth by you ?"
• "Are you any different from a kid trying to fix a jigsaw puzzle ?"

Well i fail miserably to answer the above questions, good luck to you though. Well all i am good at putting pieces of information together and making higher level constructs.

The computer field itself is retarded ! for the following reasons.

• "Who the hell arranged the keyboard this way. QWERTY !!!!! why not ABCD !! why ABCD !! why a keyboard !!. Why the hell are we suffering from qwerty and doing aerobics with our fingers?"
• "Who the hell asked you to solve the knapsack problem. Its just not a problem to any mortal being. It may be a problem to an insect - i think humans can pack their own things correctly"
• "Well why would any idiot pay in thousands to a software engineer ! for doing a ls cd ls cd ls cd" (man i do it all the time)

Computer science has achieved trifling milestones apart from the few fundamental things like boolean algebra and a few exotic algorithms for solving synthetic problems. When I talk about the problems being "synthetic" I MEAN IT. which idiot other than a computer engineer will waste large part of his life trying to do a SORTING and SEARCHING. What are you trying to search or find ?? and abstract datatype !! - what is abstract ? something that is not defined. Hell !! do you mean we are searching and sorting something that is not even defined. Tell me a single algorithm invented under computer science that solved any though real life problem. T

• "Algorithm for conviction/searching of criminal" Fcukthereisnosuchalgorithm.
• "Approximation for the bounds of the universe" even my pants would Overflow calculating that.
• "Stop a kid from crying !!" :)

Well all we engineers do is formalize an existing solution into a domain understood by a silicon chip. Its not quite similar to finding new solutions to pressing problems. And how much do we brag about it. I mean as i child i knew how to search for my mom. And for the record I did not do a binary search for that. All i did was cried cried and cried very loudly. My mom would come and find me, see its was such a great algorithm i deserve a "TURNING" AWARD FOR THAT. Man i was only 2 days old and i used such an advanced search algorithm. How the hell can a stupid professor teach me how to search in a class. The professor still could not do better that O(N) mine was O(1).

I think that we know everything that we need to know. And humanity should not waste time formalizing thing. Formal representations should be kept subjective rather than trying to make them objective. There is no notion of computer science as a science if the preceding statement is to be held true. The whole point i tried to make was computer science is a copy cat field to its roots and no innovation can stem out from from a fabricated problem space.

Well take Google, the mother of all search innovations. The whole logic is based on a simple page rank formula which the authors themselves claim was inspired from how humans rank web pages !! and the rest was simple probability.

PS to lazy for spell checks and grammar neways its another formalizzzzzm.